Addicted
by Major Alex Louis Armstrong
Summary: Not too good with these so here's my attempt. Feeling that Yuki doesn't want him anymore Shuichi turns to drugs and prostitution. Can Yuki save him before it's too late?
1. Chapter 1

Addicted

Note: Our first Gravi fic.We really don't know who the parings will be if you spot them let us know. Strong language in later chapters so be advised.

Disclaimer: Obviously don't own Gravitation. Sigh maybe someday m-m-my precious. Roxie: That will be the day pigs fly.

A fan fiction by Armstrong. Roxie: Don't forget me just because I'm your typist doesn't mean I don't play a role in this. Armstrong sighs: Whatever and….Roxie.

Prologue

Yuki sat in the cold apartment; his eyes were heavy with sleep . His deadline was fast approaching and he had yet to finish his latest novel. Stress and frustration set in as he was having trouble writing the last four chapters. He had been sitting there for hours typing and erasing the same lines. Yuki glanced at the clock and cursed silently to himself as he knew Shuichi would be home any minute. Shuichi exploded through the door and ran straight to Yuki's work room.

"YUKI YUKI YUKI!" Shuichi screamed as he embraced Yuki.

"Get off!" Yuki bellowed. "I'm busy."

"But Yukiiiiii." Shuichi whimpered. "I have something very important to tell you."

"Can it! I said I was busy I don't want to hear your voice right now so leave!" Yuki roared.

Shuichi stared at Yuki for a moment then sat on the floor next to him. Yuki looked at him aloofly. "You not bothering me." He murmured. Shuichi rocked back and forth falling over a couple times. Yuki slowly became irritated. Shuichi started to sing one of Bad Luck's songs Yuki's favorite.

_Without saying a word, time flows on;  
the sky is extinguished by the light of the morning that's coming soon,  
like it melts away.  
On that last night, no matter where it is,  
Only the moon looks at my deserted heart even now._

_What is it I'm waiting for, in this room without you it's just the clock's ticking, but it resonates in my sleepless heart like the sound of footsteps.  
Even now I'm waiting; I stop here alone.  
From where do you now see the moon we saw together on that day?_

"Damn you brat!" Yuki yelled. "I told you I have work to do yet you keep insisting on bugging me. Leave now!"

"But Yuki"

"No buts just leave now!" Yuki replied cutting Shuichi off.

Shuichi didn't move. Yuki grabbed Shuichi's arm firmly and guided him to the door.

"I said get out!" Yuki yelled throwing Shuichi outside the room and locked the door behind him.

"Yuki open the door." Shuichi pleaded pounding on the door. It was no use Shuichi slid down to the floor resting his back against the door.

"Why does he have to be so mean to me?" He asked himself. "He's never shown me any kind of emotion. Even though I know he loves me….it still would be nice if he showed it."

Yuki looked up from his laptop after hearing those words spoken by Shuichi. "….I'm sorry…." Yuki whispered before continuing to type on his laptop.

Shuichi shuffled over to the couch falling on it head first. He shifted until he was comfortable and drifted off into sleep. Yuki finished his novel with time to spare. He unlocked the door and walked out to see Shuichi asleep on the couch. Yuki smiled slightly.

_He looks almost cute when he's sleep._ Yuki thought as he walked over to Shuichi sitting next to him. He stroked through his pink hair causing him to stir in his sleep. Yuki withdrew his hand and grabbed Shuichi escorting him to the bed. Yuki carefully undressed Shuichi trying not to wake him up but failed. Shuichi looked up into Yuki's beautiful golden eyes. Yuki sighed and continued to undress Shuichi.

"It's ok I can finish." Shuichi mumbled.

"I got it….did I wake you?" Yuki asked somewhat concerned.

Shuichi nodded. "Yeah…sort of…"

"Gomen." Yuki replied.

_What has gotten in to him?_ Shuichi thought. _He's being dare I say it….nice._

"Gomen…I yelled at you earlier. I was under a lot of stress and……I shouldn't have taken it out on you." Yuki apologized removing the remainder of Shuichi's clothes leaving his young lover in only his boxers.

"Gomen for bothering you koi." Shuichi replied.

Shuichi reached up to grab Yuki's face and pull him down into a passionate kiss. Yuki rested atop of Shuichi and kissed back pushing his tongue pass his lovers lips. Yuki explored his young lovers mouth probing every corner not leaving anyplace untouched. Shuichi tugged at Yuki's shirt signaling him to take it off. Yuki silently broke away from Shuichi and did as what was requested of him. Shuichi grabbed Yuki hungrily into another heated kiss. Using his skilled hands Shuichi removed Yuki's pajama pants and boxers. Shuichi was growing irritated that he still had on his boxers the only barrier separating him from his Yuki. Shuichi whimpered at Yuki motioning at his boxers. Yuki smiled as he swiftly released Shuichi of his imprisonment.

_A/N: Sorry we had to edit. Have to keep it at a restricted level. _

Shuichi laid on his lovers bare chest painting from their former encounter.

"….Yuki…." Shuichi mumbled.

"Go to sleep baka." Yuki mumbled.

Shuichi smiled and snuggled closely to Yuki and drifted in sleep in his lovers arms.

Armstrong: So how did you like it….

Roxie: Yeah do tell. You guys better like it OR ELSE…..

Armstrong: Never mind her she had too much chocolate today.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hey guys Alex here I understand that we haven't updated in a long long time. Roxie: Like ice ages. But we've had other things to attend to. Hopefully that wont be the case next time we try to update. Oh and we have decided to do something new and tell the chaps from now on from the characters POV. It might change now and then but we will try to let you know from who's POV the story is being told. Also we will try to limit it to one person's POV a chap unless you guys want something else. Let us know. 

Tammy-love- I have yet to read your fic but all your answers will be answered soon I promise.

Makkura Arashi- I enjoy reading your fics so I am happy that you have decided to read ours. I will not fail you I accept this mission. I promise that this chap will be longer and better.

Mustang123- Well it has taken longer than I expected to update this chap. So therefore I probably wont get to my FMA fic until I'm either finished with this one or in a really good mood. So I would just say that you start and I'll catch up with you later.

Eternal Naoki- I'm flattered that you are gaining inspiration from my fic. I have gotten off on a rocky start by waiting to update for so long but I promise that I'll try harder to update sooner. I have written fics for different cites but I'm not sure if I'm going to post them on here yet. But any who I hope you enjoy this chap as much as the last.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation. It's as simple as that.

.Chapter Two.

I awoke early to start on my novel. It deadline was Friday and it was already Thursday. That meant no time for Shuichi's childish antics. "Just four more chapters." I whispered to myself as i tapped my pen on the table repetitively. i heard a faint sound like a door slowly creaking open and looked up to see a certain fuzzy pink haired idiot peer into the room. i sighed and instantly turned back to my laptop ignoring the younger man in front of me. I suppose Shuichi was used to my coldness but there was nothing I could do about that right now. Shuichi closed the door behind him and leaned against it staring off towards the ceiling as if in deep thought. i looked up at him and smirked. My eyes took in his appearance. Shuichi wore a pair of loose fitting black boxers with a matching tight fitting tank top. His hair was thrown about and bangs covered his eyes leaving only his lips visual. i watched him with lust filled eyes as Shuichi continued to stare off into space. i subconsciously stared at him growing more erect by the minute. Of course I wanted nothing more to throw the laptop aside and take Shuichi right there on that very same table, but i had more pressing things to attend too. Like my novel. i diverted my gaze back to typing on my laptop and attempted to ignore the throbbing sensation that resided in my pants. i sighed and leaned back in my chair interlocking my hand behind my head. Damn it I couldn't focus. Shuichi was my every thought. Things I would do to him if I had the time. How good it felt to feel his body squirm beneath me. How he would scream my name when we climaxed in unison. Yeah who would figure me Eiri Uesugi talking about things like this, but after all I am human despite my usual coldness. But Shuichi….he's different from the numerous women that I've slept with. Yes he annoying and he cries too much but there's something about him…

"Say Yuki." Shuichi whispers though the silence tearing me away from my thoughts.

I shifted in my chair and turned my gaze to him. He looks so innocent possibly one on the reasons I keep him around. I hummed slightly letting him know that I was listening.

"Since I have the day off…." He paused and walked closer to me stopping in front of the desk. I sat up and shifted in my seat in an attempt to mask the bugle in my pants. I wasn't ashamed or anything I just didn't want him to get any ideas. "I was thinking maybe we would do something?" He looked at me with those innocent puppy eyes and I knew that I would give in. Sighing for the umpteenth time I nod my head yes.

"OH YUKIIIIIII!" He exclaimed jumping up and down like a four year old child. Actually there isn't too much of a difference but I digress. Maybe a little time away from my novel will give me ideas or something like that. I grab Shuichi's wrist and he flinches at the contact. I pull him onto my lap and kiss him lightly watching him the whole time. He reacts to the kiss straddling me now and kissing back hungrily while still maintaining that innocence. That only served in turning me on more as he grinded his hips constantly brushing over my erection. He broke away and stood up making his own arousal apparent to me. He smiled lust filled eyes stared into mine. He reached out and grabbed my hand motioning for me to stand up. I did as I was told to and stood up and looked down upon him. Shuichi stood on his toes and whispered into my ears, "Get dressed."

GET DRESSED! GET DRESSED! Was this his form of a joke because it was far from funny. Get dressed. I thought he had something else in mind. A completely different something. "Brat if you think this is fun…"

"YUKI please just cooperate." He cut me off before I could finish. "I just wanna go out for just a second."

"No way brat I have my novel to attend to." I replied irritably.

"YUKIIIIIII. You said that you would do something with me." He pouted.

"I said no." I spat causing him to flinch but he kept his determined look nonetheless

"Just please get dressed Yuki PLEASE,PLEASE,PLEASE,PLEASE, P-L-E-A-S-E ." He pleaded like a child. Damn him he was so annoying but if I said no then he would never leave me alone. "Whatever just shut up already." I said finally giving in. Shuichi jumped up and down and ran towards me in a attempt to hug me. Before he got to me I whacked him on the head. It wasn't soft but it was still hard enough to hurt.

"Owwww. Yuki what was that for?" Shuichi said falling to the floor and rubbing his head.

"That was for being so annoying." I replied before leaving the room to 'get dressed' .

After awhile I emerge from the room dressed in my usual gray slacks and black button down shirt purposely leaving a few buttons unbuttoned. Humph that brat wasn't going to be able to keep his eyes off of me. I walked to the kitchen to find Shuichi eating pocky. I smiled at him inadvertently. He himself was dressed in his normal ridicules apparel that consisted of his tan shorts , long green sleeve yellow shirt ,and white button up shirt over it all unbuttoned. Something about this seemed vaguely familiar but I couldn't remember what it was. Shuichi looked at me finally acknowledging my presence, he smiled that innocent smile and I knew immediately that he was up to something. I did have my suspicions earlier but now I was certain.

"Ready to go Yuki?" he asked me smiling even wider if it were possible.

I grunted as I made my way to the door. I opened it and waited for him to lead the way to this 'secret' place. Shuichi looked at me then began to march down the hall like a solider beckoning for me to follow him the whole way. I cant believe how much of an idiot he is sometimes. But as strange as it may sound he's my idiot. I continued to remain in my engrossed state until I ran into Shuichi almost falling to the floor.

"Hey why the hell did you-" I began to shout at him until I saw where we were. It was…the same park…where we first met. This was his plan? Just what was he up to? "What's with bringing me here?"

"I wanted to act out our first encounter." He said cheerfully.

"Oh no, no way brat?" I replied.

"Oh come on Yuki it'll be fun. " Shuichi wined. "You can be all 'Zero talent' and 'Give it up.' Come on Yuki PLEASE?"

"I said no I don't even know why your doing this. It's just a waste of my time; time that could be spent on working on my novel which is due tomorrow night." I spat overwhelmed by anger.

Shuichi looked at me with teary eyes, "I'm doing this….because it's our anniversary Yuki." He said it in an almost inaudible voice. "I just….wanted….to make you….happy." Those words echoed in my head repeating themselves like a mantra.

Oh great now he was going to cry. But how could I forget? It was just my novel got in the way and I…. I walked over to him silently and embraced him. I felt his body tense against mine then relax as he brought his hands up to interlock around my waist. I felt his warm saline liquid dampen my shirt as he cried silently. "Shuichi I-" I began but I couldn't find anything to say. I was truly at fault here and if I said anything now I might just make him feel worst by saying something cold. The only thing I knew to do was. I released him and cupped his chin in my hand and stared into his teary amethyst eyes. He tried to look away but I held him firmly. Seeing the hurt in his eyes hurt me too. How could I cause him so much pain? I bent down and captured his lips in a fiery kiss that seemed to absorb all the hurt and pain and turn it into passion and desire. His hands guided their way to my neck as he pulled me down to deepen the kiss. He ran his tongue over my lips begging for entrance and with a slight chuckle I opened my mouth to allow him access. His persistence drove me insane. I no longer wanted him I needed him. My body demanded it. His tongue flickered in and out of my mouth teasing me beckoning for me to advance to it's secluded residence. As we kissed I could feel the heat and intense desire radiating from us burning a hole into the very ground we stood on. Shuichi finally broke the kiss his smile returning to his face.

"Yuki I-" He began only to be silenced by my lips once again. This time I broke it off and grabbed his hand interlocking our fingers.

"Don't be stupid. You don't need to apologize you didn't do anything wrong." I said as I smiled awkwardly at him. I ruffled his pink hair and motioned for him to follow me home. I began to walk down the pavement. Shuichi ran to catch up to me lacing his arm with mine and resting his head on my shoulder. We walked that way until we reached the apartment. (sorry I would go into a full lemon right here but I'm just not in the mood, and I don't think Roxie wants to do it either. I will put a lemon in the next chap if it's appropriate for that chap.)

Roxie: Tell us what you think good or bad we'll listen to the good and dispose of the bad.

Alex: Don't listen to her. She normally speaks her mind without thinking of the repercussions.

Roxie: It's a curse and a gift.

Alex: Yeahhhh. Anyway tell us what you think good or bad and we'll try to improve. Also we try to end with cliffhangers even though we absolutely hate them it's still a way to build up the story. So hopefully the next chap will end with a cliffhanger.


	3. Chapter 3

Author Note: I glad everyone liked it so much. Sorry for making it so short I really meant to make it longer but I guess it didn't work out as planned, but I swear I will make it up…somehow. Roxie: If we decide to make it up I guess it will be in this chap or the next but of course we aren't going to tell you about it; it's confidential at least to us. Alex: Umm as for the long delay two words computer problems. Need I say more? 

no end to love: Thanks a lot. We like to hear that we are inspiring other people to write fics. We decided not to make you guys wait like we did last time. I was afraid that if I made you guys wait this time that you would either die or send me hate mail or something like that. Lol. We hope you do well on your fics and we can't wait to read them.

Mustang123: Laughs hysterically : I know I actually UPDATED. It was a shock to me but I had some free time and wasn't doing anything else so I said what the heck I'll get started on the next chap and soon enough I was finished. Oh and I just guess that our FMA fics will be put on hold temporarily for right now.

XXcatsXxxXmooXx: Glad you enjoyed it so much!

Eternal Naoki: I don't know how many times I can say thank you. Roxie: As many as you want duh. Alex: Anyway sorry the chap was so short I will try to make up for it this time. We try our best and that's what you get. Roxie: Yep 100.

Vipergirl: Go me go me. Roxie: You mean go us go us. Alex: Yeah that's what I meant. We'll keep the chaps coming. .

tammy-love: Where to start. Roxie: Well umm THE BEGINNING. Alex: Whatever well I guess we won't change anything. To tell the truth the whole anniversary thing was Roxie's idea even though I hate to admit it. I hope you enjoy this chap just as much. .

sansty-san: We will get further into the story but first we have to give you the proper background. Roxie: It just wouldn't be us if we didn't make you wait.

I think that covers just about everyone don't you think? Roxie: Yeah everybody who reviewed. If your gonna read the story you might as well review. That goes for all the lurkers out there. Alex: Nicely put Roxie, but I think that we've made them wait long enough. Roxie: Agreed. So here's the next installment of Addicted enjoy. Just one last note this chapter will also be told from Yuki's POV.

.Chapter 3.  
I raced through the streets of New York recklessly towards the park. Yuki was awaiting my arrival and I was already five minutes late. I saw him resting under a large oak tree reading I called out his name and he looked up from his book and gave me one of his warm friendly grins. I finally caught up to him out of breath and crouched over with my hands resting on my knees. " Ah Yuki sorry I was late." I said as soon as I was able to speak. He nodded gently. "Its ok, you gave me time to catch up on some much needed reading." I walked over to where he was seated and sat next to him. "You can continue to read if you want." I said leaning my back against the tree. He nodded again and began to read this time aloud. The story wasn't all that interesting and I felt sleep tugging at my unwilling eyes, but that didn't matter I was just happy spending time with Yuki. I looked up at his face at his lips. They looked soft and succulent I almost wanted to…he looked at me and smiled I hurriedly looked away hiding my blush from him. Then in a flash I was covered in blood and unsteadily holding a gun.

I sat up abruptly in my bed or our bed seeing as the brat took over. Sweat descended from my face to my already damp clothes. My breathing was irregular and my heart thrashed roughly against the flesh and bone that enclosed it. My face was pale and I shivered but not because of the cold. Luckily Shuichi hadn't woken up I didn't want him to se me like this. Distraught, scared…..vulnerable. "Yuki…" I whispered falling backwards onto the bed. Why was he invading my sleep? Why now? Why after all these years am I starting to remember again?

"I thought this was what you wanted." He said smirking at me while rubbing his hand over my chest.

"Please sensei don't do this…"

I shook my head tying to clear these images of my past but they wouldn't stop. Every time I closed my eyes I could see the whole scene play out in my mind like a movie only it wasn't a movie it was real. I arose from the bed and walked to get a glass of water. The glass shook in my hand violently and I held my hand to steady it drinking the cold liquid. I glanced at the clock. Four. I sighed not wanting to return to the room in fear of awaking Shuichi. So I did the only thing I could think of. Finish my novel. I shuffled towards the door. Grabbing the knob I turned it and entered the dark secluded room. I walked towards my laptop and pushed the power button. A pack of cigarettes sat on the end of the desk tempting me to reach for them. I sighed giving in to temptation and grabbing the pack pulling out one I lit it and inhaled the cigarette deeply. I walked around my desk and sat down in the soft cushioned chair and began typing relentlessly.

"Sensei please." I tried to squirm from underneath him but his grip was firm. I couldn't escape. I couldn't move. All I could do was sit there and hope that it would all be over soon. Hope that this was a nightmare and I would wake up at any point. But that would be wishful thinking now wouldn't it?

"I thought you would enjoy this as much as me? Was I wrong?" He repeatedly whispered to me over and over again as he thrust in and out of me. Tears of pain and betrayal cascaded down my checks as I bit back another urge to scream. No that would give him satisfaction. But even as my pride fought against the scream that built inside me, my mouth opened to release the scream that resided inside it. I just wanted it to be over. The pain the betrayal the tears the anger the vulnerability. Everything.

"Please sensei stop…..it-it hurts." Even though I knew that begging wouldn't help I couldn't stop my voice from betraying my mind. My rationality. His pace quickened and I knew that one way or another it would all be over soon. Yuki grunted as he thrust deep inside of me. Warm fresh tears surged from my eyes as I felt Yuki's hot liquid pour into me tainting me.

His breathing was irregular as he struggled to speak. "See….that wasn't…..bad." he finished with a smirk thrusting in a last time before pulling out of me satisfied. He smirked again pulling his pants up and buckling his belt. I glared at him through blurred vision and I saw him motion to the others watching.

"Humph….He's all yours."

The others advanced towards me. I was trapped. My last thought was that I was going to die here. Alone. As the other men advanced towards me I saw one had a gun tucked in the front of his pants. Without hesitation I grabbed the gun turning my head I fired three shots into the darkness. I felt a hand press against the one that rested on the gun and I immediately tensed in reflex.

"It's ok, its ok. Your safe now." The voice sounded familiar and soothing. I opened my eyes and saw the horror before me. All three men were dead and it was my fault. I looked at my savior and cried into his shirt.

"Tohma I'm sorry I-I didn't meant to it was…an accident." I panicked, Tohma could turn me in. But it was accident, I really didn't mean to kill them. I just wanted them to stop. Tohma looked at me and gave me a reassuring smile.

"It'll be ok Eiri. I'll fix this……somehow."

"Yuki wake up! Wake up!" Shuichi exclaimed as he shook me awake. "You were crying out in your sleep and sweating excess- a lot."

I smiled at his incapability to say the word. Then I realized what he had said. "What were you doing in here in the first place brat?" I asked annoyed. He looked at me and seemed to consider his answer before he spoke, something he rarely did.

"I was just worried about you that's all." He responded looking down at the floor. I glared at him before turning my attention towards the computer screen and the work that I had evaded.

"Yuki, in your sleep." He paused looking unsure of what he was about to say next, "You sounded scared and you were yelling for someone to stop. You said Yuki stop? You were telling yourself to stop." He looked at me confusion evident on his facial features.

I narrowed my eyes toward him. This was the very thing that I didn't want was for him to start asking questions about my past again. My anger began to build inside my as he spoke of that person so coolly in front of me. He had no idea what that person meant to me. I stood up from the chair knocking it over in the process. My head was hung concealing my eyes from that idiot that stood inches away from me.

"Get out." I spoke softly but impassively nonetheless. I guess a part of me wanted to save him as much pain as possible and I knew that yelling at him wouldn't help. He said nothing for a while and I could feel his eyes on me as I struggled to not look at him.

"But Yuki I-"

"I said get out!" I repeated again this time more aggressively.

"Yuki I didn't mean to I just was worried. I love you." He said in a sad attempt to change my mind but I was far from compromise.

"I said get out. I don't want to see you face anymore. Get out and don't come back." I spoke this time looking at him directly in the eyes.

"Yuki please I 'm sorr-"

"No more games get out before I throw you out." As soon as I said those words I regretted it but I wasn't about to admit it.

"Please don't break up with me Yuki . I try to be better I promise. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it please." He closed the space between us embracing me and crying into my shirt. I felt his tears drenching my shirt and tears began to form in my eyes but I fought back the urge to cry.

"Get your stuff and leave now." I said one final time. He didn't move he just clung to my shirt. I grabbed his arms and disentangled him from me. He began to cry more as he finally realized that I was far from joking. He wiped his face with the back of his sleeve and nodded at me submissively. He slowly walked towards the door and turned around to look at me one final time.

"Goodbye Yuki." he whispered before exiting the room.

I stayed behind for a while letting it all sink in. A part of me wanted to rush outside and tell him to stop packing and that I was wrong to throw him out. Then make passionate love to him over and over again. But that was decided against as I stood there crying silently.

An hour and a half passed and I still stood there. I walked towards the door and opened it the light striking my eyes temporarily blinding me. The room was filled with suitcases, Shuichi's suitcases.

Am I really going to make him go though with this? Can I really make him leave for good? No not for good. Just for now until I've straightened out my issues.

Shuichi walked into the room and looked at me then quickly diverted his gaze. His eyes were swollen and red and his face was completely filled with pain and hurt and I couldn't bear to look at him.

"Hiro's on his way with a truck he rented. I'll be gone in five minutes." He whispered almost inaudibly.

Before I could say anything the doorbell rang distracting me. Shuichi opened the door and Hiro walked in. He glared at me instantly but turned his gaze back to Shuichi.

"Are you ok, did he hurt you?" He asked franticly.

Shuichi shook his head no. "He didn't hurt me physically if that's what you mean." He said again in a calm voice. "Can we leave now?"

Hiro nodded and grabbed the suitcases that Shuichi wasn't holding and took them to the truck outside. Shuichi walked over to me and I turned my head away from him not wanting to see his hurt expression. He dropped his suitcases on the floor by his sides. Standing on his toes he steadied himself against my chest and kissed me softly on the lips. I wanted to protest but felt that the least I could do was kiss him back. I encircled my arms around his waist and pulled him closer. The kiss remained simple yet it held so much emotion. He broke the kiss and whispered our lips barely touching. "Goodbye."

I released him as he reached down to grab his suitcases. He began to walk towards the door. He grabbed the handle and turned it opening the door. He stopped as if to turn around but continued to walk out of the door and out of my life.


	4. Chapter 4

Alex: We got a lot of new reviews from new people- Roxie: Wasn't that our goal to get the people who have been reading and not reviewing to review? Alex: Yeah and I was going to say thank you to all the people who did just that. Reviewed. Roxie: Oh please continue.

XXcatsXxxXmooXx: Yeah I kinda made Yuki look evil in the last chap. Well all I can say is that it will get a lot worst before it gets any better.

no end to love: Yeah Yuki threw Shuichi out I had to do it sooner or later. But we all knew it would come. Anyway the wait is over and I think that you will enjoy this chap as well.

sansty-san: Hangs head low and mummers almost inaudibly Roxie ate my cookie. But I'm past that. Aside: murder will be committed for the stolen cookie. laughs I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.

Dejichan4444: Yeah Yuki could stand to be a little nicer.

DemonicDragon666: Yeah everyone's told me that the ending was sad but you ain't seen nothing yet.

Red Kitsune Flames: Poor Shuichi but unfortunately things are going to get a lot worst for him.

Vipergirl: Yeah hopefully no more computer problems I needed to get that chap to you guys immediately.

DarkMetalAngel of Destruction: I cant say that Yuki will be condemned to darkness but something of that sort.

Makkura Arashi: Don't worry about the delay it's cool. Things are definitely starting to warm up and they will stay like that for a while. Yeah Yuki does have his issues and I didn't understand why he had to give Shuichi hell also. Well, I can only say that Yuki will regret it all sooner or later. Thanks for leaving me out of the jerk category greatly appreciated. Roxie: I wouldn't go as far to say that your not a jerk. Alex: Yeah maybe to you because you deserve it. sticks tongue out

tammy-love: Some of your questions will be answered in this chap that's all I can say. After all I don't want to give too much away.

Roxie: Oh one last thing:

Flashback- "----------------------------------------------------------"

Present (change or POV change)-__

.Chapter 4.

_Yuki's POV_

I lit another cigarette, my tenth one in thirty minutes. The apartment was quiet for the first time since Shuichi moved in. I sighed again taking in more of the smoke from the cigarette that was nearing its end. My eyes were heavy with sleep but my body wouldn't allow sleep to come. It's as if my body was torturing me keeping me awake as if to suffer from the pain I put Shuichi through. "I deserve it...and more." I said aloud to no one. The silence responded. I dropped the cigarette in the ashtray with the numerous others and curled myself into a ball on the couch. I didn't want to go back to the bed it would only serve to fill my head with more memories of that brat. No…of Shuichi. So I stayed on the couch staring into the darkness. The phone rang snapping me out of my monotonous gaze. Not bothering to ask who it is I answer the phone and yell Shuichi's name.

"Sorry Eiri but its only me Tohma."

I sighed. This was going to be a long night.

"Just come over….I'll tell you everything." I replied hanging up the phone not waiting for Tohma's reply.

I laid back in the chair deciding to rest my eyes before Tohma came over.

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Pain coursed though my body as I struggled to regain consciousness. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. Not like this. Not by force. I dreamt of this day when Yuki would finally take me in his arms and sweep me away from everything, but dreams don't come true. As I looked at the two men who advance toward me I couldn't help but feel fear but something else was there. It was stronger than the fear….was it hate? Did I hate Yuki for doing this to me? Robbing me of my innocence and letting these men have their way with me while watching; smirking to himself enjoying my pain and suffering. Yes. I hated him. I hated him with every fiber of my being. He took advantage of me of my feelings for him. I hated Kitazawa Yuki. He betrayed me.

"You betrayed me." I whispered. "You betrayed me…."

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"Eiri wake up." Tohma said as he shook me softly.

I opened my eyes realizing that it was just another nightmare and I was back home.

"Eiri what's wrong? You look distraught." He said gabbing me and placing my head on his chest.

I laid on his chest letting the sound of his heart soothe and calm me. "They, the dreams are coming back." I said my voice quivering from lack of oxygen and the impending tears threatening to fall. "I can't….stop them." I said finally letting the tears fall from my eyes. I hated crying. It hurt my head afterwards and it reminded me of Shuichi. I disentangled myself from Tohma's embrace and looked at him in the eyes. "I kicked Shuichi out because I didn't want him to see me like this. I said bad things to him, hurtful things. He probably hates me now." Tohma looked at me concern and worry evident on his face. But I also could tell that he was just as lost as me. I laid my head on his lap and closed my eyes.

"Eiri tell me about the nightmares." Tohma said softly. I nodded my head yes and began to tell him about the nightmares. ( Roxie: We're going to skip this part I'm sure you all don't want to hear it again).

Tohma looked at me with horror and sadness. I could tell he was at lost for words. It didn't matter nothing that he could say would stop the nightmares or make me feel any better. I just wanted it to be over. I would never be rid of these nightmares no matter what I did. They would just keep coming back until they finally destroyed me. And all I wanted was to give in. Let him win. I sat up from Tohma's lap and grabbed the pack of cigarettes that sat on the table in front of me. I grabbed a cigarette and lit it inhaling it deeply letting it calm me somewhat.

"You should really try to kick that habit." Tohma said breaking the silence.

I looked at him then turned my attention back to the cigarette.

"Look Eiri I know that nothing that I say will help you, or stop the dreams but I'm here for you as a friend for support. We'll find some way to stop this Eiri. I promise."

Tohma hugged me once more and stood up. "Look Eiri I know that you don't want to tell Shuichi but-"

"No!" I said abruptly cutting Tohma off in mid sentence. "Shuichi mustn't know no matter what. I don't want to drag him into my past. It'll hurt him more than I ever can."

"But Eiri your hurting him now. From what you told me he thinks you don't love him anymore."

"I do love him!" I yelled at Tohma. "I'm doing this because I love him. If he knew about my past, that I killed those men, he wouldn't trust me anymore. He wouldn't love me anymore. How could anyone hate a murderer?" Tears stung the side of my eyes but I fought them not wanting to show anymore weakness.

"Eiri I….I'm sorry. I wont tell Shuichi anything but sooner or later he will find out and he will hate you for not telling him sooner. I have to go but if you want me to stay-"

"Leave if you want." I intercepted.

Tohma said 'goodbye' and walked out the door shutting it behind him. I stared at the door for a while before laying back on the sofa and finally drifting into a deep slumber.

__

_Shuichi's POV_

I cried nonstop since I entered Hiro's apartment. How could Yuki throw me out so coldly? Did I do something wrong? I know I can be a little annoying sometimes but I can't help it. This wasn't like any other time he would kick me out, somehow this time it seemed final and that thought alone intensified my pain and tears began to flow more rapidly. This cant be the end. Yuki loves me too much even if he doesn't say it, I know he does. I wanted to call Yuki to apologize for whatever I did wrong and beg for him to take me back but every time I grabbed the phone I couldn't bring myself to dial the number. I didn't know what to say and I didn't know what reaction I would get from him. I had so many questions and not one answer.

A knock sounded at the distracting me from my thoughts. I wiped my the tears with the sleeve of my shirt. "Come in."

Hiro peeked his head around the door and attempted to smile. "Are you feeling better?"

I shook my head softly turning my back on him. "It hurts Hiro. It hurt to talk, it hurts to breathe." Tears began to fall from my eyes again. I didn't care anymore I deserve the right to cry. Hiro walked closer and placed a hand on my shoulder turning me around to face him.

"Shuichi its ok to cry. He hurt you and its ok to cry." he whispered pulling me into a warm embrace. I cried into his shirt dampening it with my tears. He just continued to hold me. After a while and more tears, I break apart from him and look into his eyes. He really wanted to help me and it was tearing him up inside seeing me like this. Hurt, sad, and in despair. He was a good friend and he wanted the best for me.

"Thank you." I whispered to him seeing the confusion on his face. "For being there for me."

He smiled and nodded at me. "Shuichi you know you're my best friend and I would do anything for you….anything."

Before I could respond Hiro captured my lips in a sweet simple kiss. Hiro broke away and stared into my eyes. Shock clouded my eyes and the kiss left me speechless. I didn't know what to do or how to respond. He kissed me! Hiro looked worried and began to back away from me slowly. For some reason I grabbed Hiro and mimicked the kiss. It was his turn to be shocked. I broke away and stared at him. Confusion evident on both of our faces. Silence engulfed the room as we struggled for the words to explain what just happened. Maybe it was an accident. Hiro felt sorry for me and I felt sad and it just happened by accident. That's it nothing but a unfortunate accident.

"Shuichi I….I didn't mean to push you. I'm sorry." Hiro said impassively before sanding up and walking out the door.

"Hiro……" I whispered into the darkness. The silence responded.

Roxie: Evil aren't we it was my idea for Shuichi and Hiro to kiss. It made the story more complicated and that much more interesting. That's the point. I want them to suffer a bit before we get into the plot more. Also I did it to build up suspense after all what is a story without some kind of suspense? Please review.


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